Studying abroad in college is truly an unbeatable opportunity, but unfortunately, many college students make excuses for not studying abroad. Most of them then come to eventually regret this decision very deeply, regardless of the reasoning behind it. One of the most common excuses among college students for not studying abroad is that they have a boyfriend or girlfriend whom they are afraid to leave behind. It is important to remember, however, that studying abroad does not always mean that you and your significant other have to break things off. Below are some common excuses that revolve around significant others and why these excuses are really not very convincing:
1. “I’m afraid that they’ll cheat.”
This is probably the worst excuse of all, and it’s therefore very easy to explain away. If you want to study abroad but are afraid that your boyfriend/ girlfriend might cheat, then your relationship is not as healthy as you think it is. If you are afraid your boyfriend/ girlfriend will find another lover during the short span (4-5 months) that you’re away, then your relationship lacks trust. And since trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, your relationship is obviously very sick. Don’t pass up studying abroad, the opportunity of a lifetime, to stay home and nurse a dying relationship with someone whom you can’t trust.
2. “I want to go, but my significant other wants me to stay home.”
This excuse falls into the same category as the issue above. Like trust, being supportive is an essential component of any healthy relationship. If you’ve explained to your boyfriend/ girlfriend that studying abroad is important to you, yet they still ask you not to go, then they are failing to be supportive. And the blunt truth is this: If they aren’t supportive, then they probably aren’t the type of person with whom you want to maintain a long term relationship.
3. “I’m in a stable relationship, but I still don’t want to leave my significant other behind.”
This is just as common as the two excuses above. Many college students are in a relationship in which they trust their partner, and their partner is supportive (sometimes even encouraging) of their dream to study abroad, yet they are still fearful. Sometimes, they worry that the homesickness and guilt will be so overwhelming that they won’t be able to enjoy themselves anyway. Others worry that going abroad will create problems in their relationship that didn’t exist before. If you fall into this category, besides remembering that most healthy relationships survive the study abroad experience just fine, there are two things that you need to consider before deciding to stay home and spend more time with your partner:
First, what if you and your boyfriend/ girlfriend end up breaking up somewhere down the line? Even if you can’t imagine it now, you have to realize that unexpected breakups do happen, and they happen frequently. If you’re one of the many college students who passes up studying abroad to spend time with a boyfriend/ girlfriend who later blindsides you with a breakup, you’ll seriously regret your decision later on. You’ll wonder why you passed up such a great opportunity just to spend more time with a person who turned out to be not so significant after all. Prevent this regret by taking advantage of the opportunity while it’s still available. Remember that college is the time of your life to try new things and help yourself grow, whether your in a relationship or not, and studying abroad is a great way to do just that.
The second reason you should consider studying abroad even if you’re in a stable relationship is this: If you truly are meant to be with the person you’re leaving behind in the U.S., then you’ll have plenty of time together later on. If you’re really going to marry this person, then you’ll have an entire life to spend together. In that case, five months is really no big deal. One semester abroad can change your life, but the few short months you spend away from your significant other is, in the grand scheme of things, nothing to worry about.
So if you want to study abroad but are afraid to because you’re in a relationship, it’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself about your priorities. Evaluate the state of your relationship. If it lacks trust and support and is therefore unhealthy and likely to end soon anyway, consider how much you’ll later regret passing up the opportunity to study abroad. Even if your relationship is stable and healthy, that doesn’t mean you can’t study abroad. Remember that studying abroad helps you to develop into a more independent, confident, and self-sufficient person, and because these are qualities that your partner will be sure to value, studying abroad can actually benefit your relationship as well as helping you to grow as an individual.
Recent Comments